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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008969">when he loved me.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/koushiz/pseuds/koushiz'>koushiz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>College, Domestic, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Thunderstorms, atsuhina brain rot, fluff and angst ending, im sorry lol, mentions of smoking, this hurts more than i expected it to be</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:20:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,078</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/koushiz/pseuds/koushiz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>after atsumu finally admitted his feelings toward his bestfriend, shoyo, everything drastically changed after that.</p><p>inspired by the song When She Loved Me — Sarah McLachlan</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when he loved me.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">"when somebody loves me, everything was beautiful"</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">atsumu finally confessed his feelings to his 2 year long crush, and bestfriend hinata shoyo from class 3-A. atsumu was so nervous, he had to practice in the mirror at least a thousand times at home.   </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">"when are 'ya gonna tell him?" osamu snorts as he watches his brother talk to himself in front of the mirror for at least 30 minutes now.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"tomorrow. graduation" atsumu stops and lets out a heavy sigh. so much</span> <span class="s2"><em>what ifs</em> run </span><span class="s1">inside the his mind, but he had to tell him sooner or later.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s2">"every hour spent together, lives within my heart"</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">atsumu finally confessed, in his surprise, shoyo liked him too. since the first day he laid eyes on him, i mean who wouldn't like </span> <span class="s2">the </span> <span class="s1">atsumu miya. he's tall, good looking, has a good sense of humour, and people don't usually see it but he's actually a gentleman.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"hey shoyo! ya got a load on your hand—here let me help you" atsumu grabs shoyo's book and folders and beams him a smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"t-thank you, atsumu.."</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>"and when he was sad, i was there to dry his tears"</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">atsumu cried all day after he got a text message from suna saying osamu got into a car accident, but luckily osamu didn't suffer any major injuries.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"shoyo what will happen to osamu, i can't—shoyo please tell me osamu is safe i don't kn..ow what i'll do if he's not.. s-" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"hey, everything will be alright, okay?" shoyo pulled him into an embrace as he rub circles on atsumu's back,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"osamu is one of the strongest people i know and he will get through this. he needs his brother to be strong for him also, okay?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"o-okay..." atsumu whispers as he burries his face on the crook of shoyo's neck as the latter whispers words of comfort to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>"and when he was happy so was i, when he loved me"</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">atsumu and shoyo stares at the laptop in front of them as the blonde boy keep refreshing the page. then the page finally loads, both of them jumps around after they read the letter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Dear Miya Atsumu,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Thank you for applying to Tokyo National University after we went through your application, we're glad to tell that you got in! See you next school year.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sincerely,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sugawara Koushi. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Tokyo National University's Principal</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">atsumu spun shoyo in the air a few times with glee. he finally got into his dream university along with him. words cannot express how happy they were, </span> <span class="s2">but <em>when he's happy, i'm happy too</em></span><em><span class="s1">. </span> <span class="s2">and that's all that matters.</span> </em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s1">"through the summer and the fall, we had each other </span> <span class="s1">that was all. just he and i together, like it was</span><span class="s1">meant to be"</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">when atsumu and shoyo finally started classes again, they rented an apartment near the building after saving up. they spent everyday through the year, with each other.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">from studying for examinations, doing school work, eating lunch, up to going home after a long and tiring day. it was their daily routine, and both of them couldn't ask for more.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s2">"and when he was lonely, i was there to comfort him"</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">atsumu knew shoyo hated thunderstorms, so he went home as soon as possible when the newscaster reported that there was a storm incoming. atsumu drove fast but carefully, hoping he'd come home in time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">when he arrived, their apartment was pitch black as another thunder roars in the distance while the trees aggressively sway against each other. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">he opens the bedroom door revealing shoyo covered with layers of sheets, trembling. atsumu didn't hesistate to hug him as soon as he laid on the bed beside him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">atsumu gave him a reassuring smile, that he's there with him, that he's not alone. "atsumu, you're <em>finally</em> h..home"</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"i'm sorry i was late. but i'm <em>here</em> now"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">shoyo's grip tightens on atsumu's polo as a flash of light shines outside their window. the blonde could only hold him tighter, praying the storm would pass. and <em>shoyo knew he loved him.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">"so the years went by, I stayed the same. but he </span><span class="s1">began to drift away, I was left alone"</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">after 3 years of uni, shoyo and atsumu finally graduated. shoyo got a degree in education while atsumu got business. they searched for a new house to live in, both of them agreed to get the place near the shore since shoyo loved the water and sunsets.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">shoyo stayed at their place most of the time as he tutors midschoolers, atsumu in the other hand found a job at a huge company unfortunately, was miles away from their home, leaving shoyo all alone during the day.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">in most days atsumu and shoyo only got to see each other in the mornings since atsumu always get home late in the night when shoyo was already sleeping. shoyo hated this, so did atsumu. but he doesn't have another choice than to continue this cycle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p2">
  <em><span class="s2">"still i waited for the day when he'd say "i'll always </span>love you""</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">one day atsumu called in sick just to spend the time with his lover. he brought him to this fancy place for the first time, with the candle lights, the red wine, the piano, and so on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"why did you bring us here?" shoyo chuckles in his red velvet suit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"because i miss spending time with my princess" atsumu grins in his black suit and trousers, his hair slicked back with gel.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"i'd like to apologize for always coming home late..."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"hey, it's okay. i understand"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"let me make it up for you" atsumu slowly stands up and grabs something from his pocket, shoyo looked at him with confusion at first, then happiness in second.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">atsumu kneels whilst he open the small velvet box, revealing a silver ring with a shimmering ruby in the middle.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"shoyo," he clears his throat. "will you marry m—"</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo immediately jumps at atsumu, pulling him for a tight embrace. he didn't care if people were staring, oh how long did he wait for this day to come.</p><p class="p1">"woah there, we're still at the restaurant shoyo."</p><p class="p1">atsumu and shoyo stands up, both of them drowning in each other's gaze. atsumu's golden orbs always made shoyo mesmerized, while shoyo's hazel brown eyes could make atsumu melt in a heartbeat.</p><p class="p1">"yes, i'll marry you." shoyo smiles as atsumu slide the ring in his finger before pulling him into a deep kiss. the people stopped to admire the new couple as they applaud.</p><p class="p1">shoyo felt happy.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>"lonely and forgotten, never thought he'd look my way"</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">atsumu wraps shoyo with his arm, as the latter rest on his chest. the moon kisses their faces from the window pane as the soaring waves echoed through the night.</p><p class="p1">"hey atsumu"</p><p class="p1">"yeah?"</p><p class="p1">"i hope we could stay like this forever."</p><p class="p1">atsumu bitterly smiles, "i hope so too"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>"and he smiled at me and held me just like he used to, like he loves me. when he loved me"</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">atsumu places a kiss on shoyo's lips before he went to sleep. atsumu reminisces the time when he and shoyo went through everything in the past years, from classmates to fiances. atsumu was thankful he got to meet a beautiful soul like shoyo's, everything was beautiful when he was with him every hour they spent together will always hold a special place in his heart, because atsumu finally knew what it feels to be loved.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"goodnight, shoyo. i love you"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo wakes up in a cold sweat, atsumu still beside him. he strangely felt cold even when the sun was shining against them. shoyo felt atsumu's chin rest on his head, so he tries to make little movement to avoid him from waking up.</p><p class="p1">"good morning tsumu." shoyo smiles, but it slowly disappeared when he didn't get a response.</p><p class="p1">"atsumu?"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo sits beside him and tries to shake his lover, "hey atsumu this isn't funny, please wake up." he was cold, his eyes were closed shut, but he was <em>smiling. </em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"atsumu! atsumu.. please don't leave me-p..please wake up!" shoyo was begging at this point, he couldn't help but scream hoping his lover would wake up anytime soon but he didn't.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"w..why did you... please don't leave...<em>please</em>" shoyo burries his face in atsumu's neck as he begs for him to wake up, his voice echoes through the empty house. he pulls him in the tightest embrace for the last time, as tears fall rapidly down his face.</p><p class="p1">if he had knew it was all gonna end like this, he would've visited atsumu when he had the chance, he would've brought him lunch when he had the chance, he would've said <em>"i love you!" </em>when he had the chance but,</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">he didn't.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo kneels down on the wet grass near the cold tombstone. he places a bouquet of white roses he bought from the flower shop across the street.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"hey, my love. it's been 7 years. how are you doing up there? is the view wonderful? i hope it is." he smiles to himself, not that long he grabs a piece of paper folded in half from his pocket, and holds it in front of him.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"i saw your letter, you should've... told me sooner... i could've helped you-no.. i <em>should've </em>asked you sooner." shoyo uses everything to hold back his tears from falling before he reads what's inside.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>dear shoyo, </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>hey if you're reading this i'm probably dead by now, i'm sorry i couldn't tell you sooner. i noticed you were stressed from the past few months and i didn't wanna cause you more stress so i kept it to myself.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>i found out that i have coronary artery disease, it happens when the arteries that supply blood to the heart becomes narrow.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>at first i just shrugged it off since the doctor said it was fine, as long as i was healthy. but eventually, i forgot to take care of my body, due to stress i smoked every night and i barely ate. so my condition got worse and worse, but i took the meds to give me more time with you.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>but i couldn't bare it any longer. my chest pains were more frequent and my meds were out of stock, so i eventually stayed at the hospital for a few days.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>remember when i said i was gonna go on a business trip? haha yeah that was a lie. then after a few weeks, i was finally discharged. that's today, march 13. but unfortunately, the doctors said i only have 2 days to live. so why not spend it with my soon-to-be husband.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>when i'm gone, i want you to look at the sky and smile, so i could see it again. there's so much things i'd want you to keep doing, so please do them for me. take care of osamu for me mkay? tell him that i love him even though he's a pain in the ass sometimes haha</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>lastly, i'd like to thank you. for bringing happiness into my life, i couldn't imagine a lifetime without you, so i'm thankful that i got to spend this life with you. i'm glad our fates intertwined, hinata shoyo. </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>my soul is always with you.</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>love,</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>atsumu.</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"you're so unfair atsumu... but i hope you're happy wherever you are, i promise to look at the sky often. i'll continue to smile for you"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo touches the cold lapida where atsumu's name was engraved. he tried his best not to cry, but he just couldn't.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"i love you, atsumu. forever and always" shoyo sniffs as he wipe the tears running down his face until he felt a small figure stand beside him.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"papa are you crying?"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">"no-no.. papa's not crying, tobio."</p><p class="p1">the boy immediately comes in front of him to give shoyo a hug,</p><p class="p1">"it's okay to cry papa"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo hugs the little blond boy back as he combs his hair, "i just miss your dad, so so bad"</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">they stayed like that for a while until osamu comes back "hey sho, we're gonna head back to the memorial"</p><p class="p1">shoyo carries his child as he turns around, he looks back at the lapida one last time before following osamu down the hill. </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>"when somebody loved, everything was beautiful. every hour we spent together, lives within my heart. when he loved <strong>me.</strong>"</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">shoyo stares at the bright blue sky, "i'll never forget you, miya atsumu."</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WOW... i can't believe i finished that. *hands out tissue* here, i think you need it. i didn't plan for it to hurt this bad but *scratches head* here we are. i'd like to thank you for reading this, it really means a lot to me since i'm still not confident with my writing ahaha... anyways! find me on twitter (@xiaovener) :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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